No one to talk to

[Grace]

The person I would talk to about things besides dh was my Dad. We talked several times a week sometimes, but at least once or twice every week no matter what. I am not close to the rest of my family. I was always the black sheep. The one not invited to family get togethers. My family is religious and I am not. There will be all kinds of religious ceremonies which I have always found hollow and not helpful. But I am going to put up with them like a trooper because that is what Dad wanted.

Most of my family is well off. Of course, I am not. I am also more educated than most of my family. I do feel more at home with my cousins who have more education. I am not being stuck up, I find my more educated cousins are more excepting of me. I understand that I am different than they are in many ways and I require tolerance. My thoughts are just so different from theirs. They are creationists for the most part and I believe in evolution.

I live in the oldest mountain range in America. I find comfort at looking at my beautiful mountains knowing they are millions upon millions of years old. From the being of the evolution of life, there was life in these hills. And when mankind is just a distant memory, there will still be life in these hills. Knowing that life came before me, before mankind, before mammals and before the dinosaurs and this life will continue hopefully for billions more years, is a comfort to me. And something they don't even understand.

Individual lives end, but life itself goes on. Life is eternal. This planet, this solar system, this galaxy and this universe are finite. But life itself is eternal. if not here, then somewhere else. When I was a little girl, I loved to watch dandelions crack and break the pavement. I thought "isn't life amazing! These dandelions can break rocks." I would secretly cheer for the dandelions and be disappointed when people weeded them out. Life is a wondrous thing and so very short.

Even though he was a creationist, I could talk to my dad about these things and he would listen. My dad saw the wonder in the world that I see. He could also see the destruction of the natural world and he cared. He was the one who taught me about conservation and I share his beliefs about the environment.

My dad was a loving, forgiving and gentle man. He really knew how to listen and show people he cared. I just want people to share with me the wonder of their experiences of life with him in it. Not tell me about their religion or quote Bible verses at me.