My Own Death (Resa's posting from July 07)

[deity]

PostPosted: 26 Jul 2008 05:11 pm Post subject: Planning for my death
OK this may sound a bit morbid, but I think of this. Especially the other day, I was filing away statements, bills, and paperwork (I have two four-drawer filing cabinets, that's how ocd I am, so it took me a good afternoon to file). I filed away paperwork for my and hubby's life insurance. Which reminded me...

We had had several conversations about how we want things to happen when we die. Living will, life support, funeral (or lack thereof?), cremation, scattering ashes. We both agreed we needed to write something out in the event one or both of us pass away unexpectedly.

My question is, how does one go about making a document, making it legal (notary? lawyer?), and ensuring my last wishes and my non-belief are respected? Our families, for the most part, aren't fully aware or understanding of our Atheism. My family knows, and those that know respect it. But, I could see others in the family demanding a Catholic funeral and mass. Razz

Is there another spot on the forum for such a discussion? I've perused the web and my liberry for information and haven't come up with much. Maybe there's a chapter in Godless Grief. Smile

Thanks!!
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Response from deity-

It varies from state to state. Some states require just a notarized document, some require that you file a will with a court house. The location to find this information is via the Probate Court of your state, which can be found here:
http://www.wills.com/epa/WillBasics.htm

You can do a search of your state, and look up Probate Court, to get the most current information. The general rule is that all wishes must be in writing, witnessed by either a notary or a lawyer, and filed. Several states have "computer law" in effect, which allows those who have filed a will online, or have one in their possession on a deceased person's computer- which will nullify other wills and wishes.

Whenever you are in a hospital ensure that they are in possession of CURRENT affidavits for " DNR" and that the current next of kin is listed on medical records.

Ensure that any member of the armed services has a will. (This includes those who are JUST 17.) Most of the time, paperwork of this nature is filed PRIOR to leaving for bootcamp. If the member gets married during his or her enlistment, ensure ALL paperwork is updated to reflect next of kin.

If possible, complete any preparations BEFORE anyone is sick or even a "senior" citizen. This includes stating what will happen to the body, what the burial wishes are, and if there are any orders for organ donation. THIS IS IMPORTANT for all of us. Let the next of kin, and other members of family, or friends know where this information is kept because during the time of loss, our family and friends are often at a loss for what to do next. The more we prepare for our own mortality, the easier it will be on those around us.

This may be a morbid conversation, but it's important to have a family discussion about the possibility of death, or permanent disability at least ONCE a year to ensure those around us are aware of our own wishes, and we, theirs.

There is a long chapter about other things you can do, but until the book is out, the best advice I have is to simply do your homework- and fill others in.

deity
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Reply from Resa

Thanks so much!! We'll be looking into it for sure. Wink

[MLynn]

Dear Resa, when my dear hubby was declining in health (late 2007), I made sure his will was up to date and that I had a signed/notorized Durable Power of Attorney done so that when the time came (which it did) I had the legal means to make decisions when he became totally compromised and couldn't respond.

Hubby had written a simple holographic will (legal in California) and I downloaded free Durable Power of Attorney wording from the internet. FedEx Office has a notary service and while Hubby was mobile, we went there together and signed which was good timing because eventually, he could not write at all.

You can go to legalzoom.com which give you the tools to write and record wills and trusts at a reasonable cost to you.

Also, it 's good if both of you know the full, complete state of your finances - it helps!

I wish you the best of everthing - take care, Mikki